---

Aizkrim...

HAS GOT NO PHONE. Please don't text or call me (as I won't be able to receive it), until further notice. Thank you.

you were saying something?

---

broken-hearted

ECG result. Second degree Atrioventricular Block Type 2.

Kelangan ko na bang mag-ipon ng milyones? haha. Hay nakohhhh... umokey yung second test. Pag hindi, iisa-isahin ko na kayong bisitahin. Para matandaan ko mga pagmumukha nyo, hehehe..

you were saying something?

---

Elemental Dreams

ACCORDING TO a dream analyst, it's a healthy habit to keep a dream journal too. In this way, nakikita mo raw kasi kung ano yung foregoing situation that's playing at the back of your head. Kahit tulog tayo, gising pa rin ang isip natin at tuloy pa rin sa pag-e-entertain ng random thoughts. Sa dreams nababalanse ang kakulangan ng tao sa solusyon. I rarely dream nowadays, perhaps because I willed not to dream of anything.

LAST NIGHT, I dreamt I was photographed with an elemental sitting next to me. Sa lumang bahay namin or mas tamang sabihing, old architecture ng bahay namin. The photographer said something like, "May kasama kayo sa bahay." With that, I got curious and asked for a photo print. Yun na nga. I took the print and showed it to my mother but when I looked at it again the photo somewhat developed a discoloration and the spot where the elemental was sitting became blurred.

When I got up, I browsed through a dream analysis source. I tried re-etching the elemental. I kept calling it elemental kasi hindi ko alam kung ghost ito. May ghost bang parang made of muscle tissues lang? And bronze colored? I re-drew the old architecture of the house and plotted lahat ng natatandaan ko sa picture. Ako, yung elemental at dalawang tao pa. It turned out na yung spot where the elemental was sitting and the posture of this elemental is so familiar to me. There's one person I know na paborito ang spot ng bahay namin na yun and that's my father.

"To see a picture in your dream, symbolizes a mental imprint that remains persistent in your mind...

To see a blurry picture in your dream, suggests that your memory of the depicted event, incident, or people, is fading. Perhaps you need to let go of the past and stop holding on to what was and concentrate on what is. On the other hand, you are attempting to disguise a situation and refusing to see it as it really is. You need to learn acceptance..."

Siguro naman nakarating na ako ng acceptance stage or pretending that I already learned to accept what I can only have at the moment. Kaso, baka dahil sa untimely death of Bullet's mama and papa and Lazycat's dad, the thought about my own father eh nabulabog at hindi pa pala tumitining. I kept pushing it at the back of my head because what else is there for me to do? Nanay ko nga naka-let go, why not Aiz?

Or, it was actually telling me something else. Something about a past I kept clinging on to. It might be a representation of a false image.

The dream also mentioned something about the elemental, being 'nagtatampo'. Pero hindi ko na lang sasabihin kung kanino. heheh..

you were saying something?